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Walking with Non-Christian Friends through the Five Thresholds of Conversion
As God draws our friends toward himself, they tend to go through five “thresholds” (5T) of coming to faith. The main idea is that conversion usually takes place gradually. The following summary chart of the 5Ts is explained below.
Threshold 1 | Threshold 2 | Threshold 3 | Threshold 4 | Threshold 5 |
---|---|---|---|---|
Trust | Curious | Open | Seeking | Following |
In Witness in the Academy, Rick Mattson emphasizes the idea that God goes before us in witness. God is already doing his work in the lives of our non-Christian friends (John 6:44). Our job is to discern his work and get involved by walking prayerfully with our friends through the 5Ts.
(To help identify who the Holy Spirit is inviting you to connect with to share your faith, please refer to this resource: Network Mapping.)
Threshold 1: Moving from Distrust to Trust
Trusting a Christian.
When a non-Christian wants to spend time with us and begins to open up about their life, they are entering T1 – trust.
Our job is to cultivate trust.
- Be a good friend. Trust is developed within the context of a meaningful relationship.
- Take initiative by asking questions and sharing something about your own life. Invite the person to coffee, lunch, a social event, or a bike ride.
- Identify as a Christian. Mention in passing that you go to church or grew up Christian or that you’re praying about things.
- Show genuine care. Guard against making the other person a project. Ask God to love the other person through you.
Threshold 2: Moving from Indifferent to Curious
When a person starts to show interest in other viewpoints or is asking bigger questions about life, they are likely crossing the first threshold toward T2: becoming curious.
Our job is to cultivate curiosity.
- Live curiously (provocatively). Talk and act in ways that are intriguing to your friends.
- Be transparent. Share about your life and spiritual experiences.
- Ask questions, listen well. Use active listening and ask open-ended questions.
Threshold 3: Becoming Open to Change
Going from curious to open is often the most difficult part of the journey. Just because someone is curious about faith or life’s bigger questions doesn’t mean they’re actually open to change. It takes a move of the Holy Spirit for a person to consider the possibility of a new way of life. Keep praying toward that end.
Our job is to foster openness to change.
- Ask brave questions. As a person becomes open to change, we can ask more direct questions such as, “How is your spiritual journey going?” and “What is your opinion of Jesus?” Also, “What barriers to faith (if any) do you currently have?”
- Be transparent. Allow the other person to see your own journey of faith and life struggles. Share how you have personally experienced the transformative power of Jesus in your life.
- Read the Bible together. Scripture is our most powerful tool in witness. Try reading a Gospel together with a friend and talk about the meaning of each passage.
- Invite to Christian community and outreach events. It’s helpful to bring your friends into contact with other Christians so they can see you’re not an anomaly and become aware of more academic peers who have faith. While you can invite your friends to Christian social or outreach events during earlier thresholds, if you haven’t already done so, this stage is a good time to start. Learn to invite well by using the 3-Step Method for Invitations in Witness in the Academy, Appendix 5, or the worksheet, Making Compelling Invitations.
If you’re a leader in a fellowship, you might think through what threshold(s) your outreach event is attempting to hit. For example, a Veritas Forum is geared toward thresholds 1-3 (maybe 4) depending on the topic and speaker but typically does not include a call to faith. An outreach event that has a call to faith would be geared toward thresholds 3-5. Some events can try to target all 5 thresholds, but it can be challenging to do this effectively. Also, calls to faith can include calls to take a next step in their spiritual journey for Christians and non-Christians. This acknowledges where people may be and gives them a way to respond even if they’re not yet ready to make a full faith commitment.
Additionally, an attractive Christian community is one of the most compelling reasons to follow Jesus. Our friends know they won’t be isolated as they come to faith in Christ. And it has been said that the more Christian peers someone knows, the more likely they will come to faith.
Threshold 4: Moving from Meandering to Seeking
When a non-Christian friend becomes a true seeker, it can be an exciting time. However, they may also be seeking other spiritual alternatives, so we must help them focus on Jesus. True seeking presents a window of opportunity for faith but often the window does not stay open very long for various reasons. They're likely to decide to follow Jesus or not within a few weeks or months. So take the initiative now! If they back off seeking after this threshold, they may not seriously consider Jesus again for a while due to other responsibilities or distractions.
Our job is to support seeking.
- Help clarify their quest. It may not be apparent to your non-Christian friend where they should focus as they consider faith. They might want to look at the Old Testament, Church History, or the behavior of Christians in the modern world. However, our Christian faith is founded on Jesus (not interpretations of Genesis, not Christian behavior, etc.), so that is where we should encourage them to focus. If Jesus is not who he said he was, then any seeker can cross Christianity off their list of faith options.
- Continue reading the Bible together. Focus on Jesus as much as possible. Someone might want to read the whole Bible first, but what they think about Jesus impacts how they read and/or trust the rest of the Bible. If he’s not the Messiah, then they can move on from the Christian faith.
- Help them begin praying. At first, we can pray while the other person listens. Then they can experiment with prayer as well. Encourage them to be honest with God in prayer. There’s no perfect prayer language, per se, that they must learn.
Threshold 5: Becoming a Follower of Jesus
Our job is to foster someone becoming a follower of Jesus.
- Make a call to faith. Invite them to consider following Jesus. Ask, “Now that you’ve been learning about Jesus, are you ready to become a follower?” Or, “Is there anything preventing you from following Jesus?” If there is, you can address it. When the time is right, lead them through a simple prayer of repentance and commitment to Christ.
- Work through lingering concerns. There are some profound fears that keep people from deciding to follow Jesus: fear of commitment, fear of disappointment, fear of losing autonomy, fear of rejection, etc. Help them to see how Jesus will do a better job of running their life than they will on their own.
- Encourage self-reflection. Each of us has to decide who is at the center of their life…us, or God. What does your friend currently center their life on and what gives them confidence in centering there? Also, we all have a faith perspective, whether conscious or subconscious, about the big questions of life (e.g., how did we get here, is there a God, what’s our purpose in life), even atheists and agnostics. How has your friend come to their own perspective and how does their confidence level in that perspective compare to their confidence level in following Jesus? What might increase their confidence in Jesus?
- Continue reading the Bible together.
- Invite into Christian community. If you haven’t already, help your friend participate in a church that teaches the Bible and provides an attractive model of the body of Christ.
- Invite them to be baptized in order to declare their faith publicly. Celebrate your friend’s new life in Jesus. This reinforces the importance and joy of their commitment to Christ.
- Help them share their new faith with others. New believers need to learn the joy of witnessing to others. Their changed lives can be a wonderful model for others to follow.
- Help them develop spiritual habits. These include Bible study, prayer, and being discipled by another Christian.